last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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