I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
