I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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