she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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