Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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