Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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