I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
