this just has baby written all over it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
