I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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