I smell stomach acid.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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