nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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