Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
