People with herpes should wear stickers.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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