I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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