Got a toothbrush?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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