Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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