the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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