i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she smelled like a LAN party
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
