Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
