No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
