Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
