I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
