It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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