Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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