My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
