I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let's get the cat blown out
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
