Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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