In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
