The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
