nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
