Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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