Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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