I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
