I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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