Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
