Me too!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
