My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
