pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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