we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
