and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
