Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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