Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
