What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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