My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
