I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
