I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
