don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
