Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
