Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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