He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
NoShamevember. You game?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
