Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sex in a hospital.. check
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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