Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
