Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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