does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
