I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
