Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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