loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
