I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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