Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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