told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
