If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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