literally had 100 drinks last night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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