My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
