I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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