i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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