holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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