butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
