gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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