i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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