My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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