i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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