When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
